Friday, January 28, 2011

The one thing I love about blogger is that no one reads it. It's just a personal diary and everyone who reads it, doesn't actually care. At least I hope not.

The thing is, I hate Rebecca. She's perky, and pretty, and nice, and just happy. All the time. She has great friends too. And the reason why people hate, is because of jealousy. I want that. I want to be nice and pretty. I want to be happy. But I'm much to negative to ever be any of those things. My friends are great, I admit, they have their flaws, but they're wonderful. But I don't have a group of close, close friends. The ones I do, I rarely talk to or move away. Karma just hates me too.

The thing I hate most about her? People like her. Everybody just loves Rebecca. My best friend, likes her. And don't get me wrong, I don't like him. At all. It's just, once again, jealousy. No one likes me. I keep trying to point out all my flaws, work on them. But that just makes me more depressed when I see how everything just crowds down on me. I'm not even perfectly imperfect. Because being perfectly imperfect is just another form of being perfect: which nobody is. Therefore, yes, my hair, not so nice. My eyes? Boring brown. My height? bit too short. My attitude = sucks. Well, to me at least. I have a lot of people that I talk to and hang out with. But I don't want a million people. I want that one person that I can talk to all the time. Someone who won't judge my mistakes and just help. But that person doesn't exist. Because that person is me, and everyone's unique, therefore, there is no one like that other than me.

I hate jealousy.

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